


Rockin' Balin's New Year's Ballad

by onestepatatime



Series: Rockin' Balin's Holiday Ballads [4]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 18:50:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5596879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onestepatatime/pseuds/onestepatatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bifur and Bofur sing Auld Lang Syne as they fill in for Rockin' Balin who is busy with auditing thanks to Nori and a certain dwarf king tree topper who is now a teapot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rockin' Balin's New Year's Ballad

**Author's Note:**

> Bifur got on this episode with Bofur by possessing a certain miner's mattock.
> 
> Here is a music video with Auld Lang Syne written by Robert Burns.  
> This video also features the lyrics in modern English for those interested.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPnhaGWBnys
> 
> Bofur and Bifur use this website for the lyrics meanings source:  
> http://www.carols.org.uk/auld_lang_syne_song.htm  
> These quotes are underlined.
> 
> Legal Disclaimer: All trademarks and copyrights are owned by their respective owners. I make no profit from this story.

_(Bifur appears to be able to talk because he can write, and this is a written radio show.)_

"Good evening, everybody! Welcome to the New Year's Edition of Rocker Balin's..."

"It's Rockin' Balin, Bofur. I told you to stay away from the mead til after the show."

"You've heard my guest cohost, Bifur, readers. On with the show. What unlucky dwarf got picked this time, cousin?"

"You volunteered yourself. We are the show, Bofur."

"Then on with us poor sods. Let's hear it for Rockin' Balin's New Year's Ballad."

\----

"The sound stage is this way, Bofur." It took both Bilbo and Bifur to get the swaying dwarf  through the door.

"I like your new headset. Get them for Christmas?" Bofur plucked the set off of Bilbo's head and set them on his own.

"More like Nori stole my other set." Bilbo quickly reclaimed them.

"Testing. Testing one two three. You're needed on the set, Bilbo." Nori fortuitously appeared, complete with Bilbo's prior headset on his own ears. Bilbo turned a lovely Christmas bow shade of red.

"Bifur, Bofur, here are the song lyrics. Nori, you read Ori's history section if you're so eager to help. Ori is currently helping Balin."

"Fine. Fine. Let's get this show started." Nori took a chair on the stage that was set up to look like an late 1800's sitting room. It was complete with a roaring fire in the fireplace and snow falling outside the frosted window. Plush wingback chairs were drawn up next to the hearth near a small table holding three cocoa filled mugs and a teapot. A large clock on the hearth's mantle showed a few minutes til midnight.

"Have a seat everyone." Bofur quickly downed a mug and picked up the teapot to refill it.

"Put me down!" Bofur yelped and nearly dropped the talking teapot.

"Thorin?" Nori laughed. The Durin blue teapot had a beautifully painted dwarf king on its side. It was too bad that the regally drawn dwarf had an unhappy scowl.

"Put me down!" The figure crossed its arms.

"Bilbo again?" Bifur had his face in his hands. How hard could it be to run an episode of Balin's show anyway? This was just getting utterly ridiculous.

"Gandalf." The teapot huffed as Bofur poured his second helping anyway. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Here, you fill in for Ori, Thorin." Nori put his headset on the teapot and propped up his script in front of it.

"N.mmmph." An earphone was directly over Thorin's face.

"Sorry. Gotta go." Nori grabbed a cup of cocoa and vanished.

"This is a right nice setup. More cocoa, Bifur?" Bofur got comfortable in a chair and held out the teapot to his cousin.

"No. None for me." Bifur was not about to touch an enchanted tea set. "How long?"

"One minute." Thorin's small voice piped up. "What?"

"What?" Bofur asked as he poured something suspicious into his mug. Bifur just shook his head again, got comfortable, and reviewed his script.

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

"How can a clock chime fourteen? It's broke!"

"We forgot to countdown to the New Year anyway."

"Just sing, will you." Thorin huffed. "Fine. I'll begin. The custom of drinking a "health" at a special gathering to the prosperity  or good health of another dates back into antiquity."

 _"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,_ _And never brought to mind?_ What is auld?" Bofur scratched his head as he sipped his mug.

" _Should auld acquaintance be forgot,_ _And auld lang syne?_ Maybe it's a song about getting forgetful as you age?" Bifur shrugged.

"The Meaning of 'Auld' is "Old" and the meaning of 'Lang Syne ' is "Long Since". " The teapot's spout let out steam as Thorin grew red. "Just sing the song."  
  
_"For auld lang syne, my dear,_ _For auld lang syne,_ _We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_ _For auld lang syne._ Kindness is what you need to work on for your New Year's resolution, Thorin." Bofur tisked.

"The lyrics "We'll take a cup o' kindness yet" refers to the tradition of raising a glass, or a cup o' kindness meaning with "good will, friendship and kind regard" and in remembrance of "noble deeds". The teapot rocked dangerously close to the edge of the little table. Bifur quickly grabbed it and sat down, letting Bofur sing the rest of the song.

"That's a mighty cheerful thought. Mighty cheerful. I'll have a cup myself." Bofur raised his mug to Bifur.  
  
_"And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,_  
_And surely I'll be mine!_  
_And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_  
_For auld lang syne._  
  
_For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
_For auld lang syne,_  
_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_  
_For auld lang syne._  
  
_We twa hae run about the braes,_  
_And pu'd the gowans fine;_  
_But we've wandered mony a weary fit_  
_Sin' auld lang syne._  
  
_For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
_For auld lang syne,_  
_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_  
_For auld lang syne._  
  
_We twa hae paidled i' the burn,_  
_Frae morning sun till dine;_  
_But seas between us braid hae roared_  
_Sin' auld lang syne._  
  
_For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
_For auld lang syne,_  
_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_  
_For auld lang syne._  
  
_And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,_  
_And gie's a hand o' thine!_  
_And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught_  
  
_For auld lang syne._  
_For auld lang syne, my dear,_  
_For auld lang syne,_  
_We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,_  
_For auld lang syne."_

"I've no idea what I've just sung, but Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Bofur finished his mug with a slurp.

"This is guest cohost Bifur signing off for Rockin' Balin, folks. I'm never doing this again. Sheesh."

"Hey! I didn't get to finish my lines. The old Christmas term  'Wassail' derives from the Old Norse phrase 'ves heill' meaning 'be healthy'."

"Say goodnight, Thorin."

"Goodnight, Thorin."

**Author's Note:**

> Sigh. This is what happens when you trust dwarves to follow a script.  
> Best Wishes for a safe and happy New Year to you all.


End file.
